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October 28, 2015 by admin

How do I know if the voices in my head are intuition, or just chatter?

Reader Question: How do I know if the voices in my head are intuition, or just chatter? ~Janie

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com. Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

Response: Dear Janie, It sounds like you’d enjoy clarity and confidence in your intuition. This is a common question, especially among those who are really wanting to live from an inner impulse of inspiration rather than from an externally imposed direction.

First of all, let’s distinguish that mental clutter is often a source of confusion.If you regularly expose yourself to……See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/intuition/fl/mental-chatter-or-intuition.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A Tagged With: intuition, life coaching, mantra, sound

October 21, 2015 by admin

Life Lessons and Relationship Compatibility

Reader Question: From what I have gleaned in study, it is my understanding that every one comes in with lessons that they have chosen to learn in regard to their personalities traits etc, both positive and negative… some of which make them incompatible with or unable to mesh with people of certain other traits, even though they care deeply for them. My question is, once a person or persons learn their life lesson/lessons they came in with does that make them more easily compatible with, in balance with, and able to get along with others or each other if it is a couples relationship? Hopefully I’ve stated this in a manner that you can understand what I am asking. Thanks a lot. ~Sarah

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com. Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

Response: Dear Sarah, Yes.

When you’re aware of your own life lessons, it can be easier to have compassion for another person’s lessons. When you’re unaware of your own areas of life/soul learning, you’ll have the tendency to project responsibility for your unmet needs on your partner. Often, people take this as a sign of incompatibility, when it actually points to a greater need for self-responsibility.

For anyone reading this column, if you ……See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/fl/Life-Lessons-and-Relationship-Compatibility.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A Tagged With: life lessons, relationship coaching, relationships

October 14, 2015 by admin

Karma Class: When You Learn the Lesson, You Need Not Repeat the Class

Reader Question: I went to a healer who told me I have bad relationship karma, and said she could fix it for me. I have had a lot of back-and-forth with my (now ex) boyfriend, and it was quite a toxic relationship. What do you think? ~Erin

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com. Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

Response: Dear Erin, Thanks for your question. It is always wise to seek a second opinion, if the diagnosis doesn’t feel quite right!

It sounds like you are wanting peace, perhaps relief, but I would be wary of anyone who is……See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/karma/fl/karma-class.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A Tagged With: class, karma, karma class, lesson

October 10, 2015 by admin

Changing Self Critical Patterns : Growing Up with a Critical Mom

Reader Question: People always criticize me. I am constantly on guard, waiting to be hit with people’s words. My mother was very critical and strict. But I know deep inside that I love life and want to be free, even though I’m shy and meek and also self-critical. How can I change this?

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com. Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

Response: It sounds like you’d very much enjoy being seen, understood, loved, and appreciated as you are. There’s nothing you need to change or fix about yourself in order to deserve love. Your soul is perfect and totally lovable as it is!! The only thing you need to practice or “do” is to consistently remember is your true nature (your soul, your spirit, your essence, the “I AM” behind all other ideas you have about yourself). Your work, if you want to……See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/positivethought/fl/self-criticism.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A

September 9, 2015 by admin

Crisis Equals Opportunity

photo

Reader Question: Will I be able to rise out of this severe depression, get my life in order, deal with a foreclosure and an impending death in my family and move forward rather than be mired in the depths of it all? ~Shelley

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com.
Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

Anandra’s Answer: Hello Shelley, I’m sorry to hear about all of the challenges in your life… and YES, you can/will move on. The fact that you’re asking for help reveals a key factor: HOPE.

If you can resolve to learn your lessons fully from the “bad events,” all of this difficulty can be compost for the fertile ground of your life. We all go through rough periods, and often they spur us onward to greater things if we take advantage of the opportunity disguised as a crisis. It’s uncomfortable in the moment, but in retrospect, we look back with gratitude at those events that catalyzed change……See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com:http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/fl/crisis-equals-opportunity.htm

Anandra_aFeinberg-200x300Ready to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A Tagged With: Bhakti, Holistic healing, mantra, Psychic healing, Yoga

December 30, 2014 by admin

Is it OK to use mantras to get a romantic partner?

This article is in response to one of my sweet students who wrote to me asking, “Is it OK to use mantras to get a romantic partner? You may say it’s rājasic (wrong use of mantra), but I am longing to meet someone special as soul mate and get married. Please advise me!”

The yearning to experience union is one of our most driving urges, and it’s natural to consider using the power of mantra to hasten the satisfaction of our romantic wishes.

I generally advise against using mantras to get what you want, and here’s why: what you want, and what you need, might be two different things. Using mantras to get what you want materially may satisfy you temporarily but lead to suffering in the long term. Instead, focus on being the person you want to be, and surrender to the highest plan for your life. Then, you’ll set yourself up for sustained contentment.

However, there ARE some lovely and intelligent ways to use mantra to remove obstacles to you experiencing the fullness of your glorious inner nature. We all have unique mental knots that obscure our happiness; using mantra to loosen them works on multiple levels! (Read more about these levels in the free e-book!)

Auṁ-Śrī-Radha-Kṛṣṇāya-Namaḥ

In a romantic context, you can use mantras to remove obstacles in various ways:

  1. To remedy self-esteem problems. If your self-esteem is low, your identity is probably based primarily in either your body, or in your personality/ego/mind, which are inherently unstable. You can use mantra repetition to firmly establish your true Self-esteem (note capital “S”! ). If your identity is merged with the indestructible glorious Self, there’s no chance for fear or doubt or self-loathing to creep into your psychology.
  2. To expand your capacity for love. Devotion to the innermost Self, via pure energy/sound itself or your favorite name/form (Kṛṣṇa, Jesus, Allah, etc.), will increase your capacity for self-love and love for others. If you think about it deeply, love is an entirely internal experience. You either feel it, or you don’t, regardless of whether the apparent object of your love is physically present, and regardless of whether he/she/it is behaving the way you want or not. If you have cultivated an abundantly loving relationship with your innermost Self, you can decide when you are “in love” and give that love rather than grasp for it outside of yourself.
  3. To give you the mental power to suspend judgment and choose empathy (instead of your knee-jerk stories and reactions). On a practical level, a happy sustained partnership with another human being depends heavily on this skill!
  4. To increase your radiance and attractiveness. It’s easily observable that regularly chanting mantra and singing devotional songs makes you glow from the inside.
  5. To sustain the state of union with the beloved. Chanting mantras for union (Radha/Kṛṣṇa, Śiva/Śakti, for example) gives you a chance to saturate in the dynamic pulse of union, which, if you believe in “the Secret” or the Law of Attraction, sets up a powerful forcefield to attract the experience on the physical plane, if that serves your highest destiny.
  6. To transcend needing, and enter celebration. If you chant a mantra from a whiny, lacking state of mind, it won’t feel very good and will increase your desperation. If you chant mantra to celebrate what is, surrender to love for love’s sake alone, and praise it wholeheartedly, an abundance of goodness will flow your way.

Please note that I did not include specific “mantras for this and that” in this article, because the selection of mantras is a highly personal thing. Read “Is it OK to get mantras from the Internet?”

Once you and your teacher have determined the best mantra for you at this point in your life, I wish you happy chanting! Please contact me if you’d like personal assistance.

Post Script: I heard back from this student several months after she wrote this question, and this was part of her reply. Beautiful!

I still love to chant mantra and do all the time in my mind. Particularly, “cidanandarupah, śivoham śivoham” and then I feel happy for no reason! Also when I pray for happiness to everyone and everything in the world, I feel unconditional love is radiating from my heart. So I am happy 🙂

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A, Mantra, Most Popular Tagged With: learn mantra online, love mantra, mantra for love, mantra for romance, marriage mantra, right use of mantra, soul mate mantra

October 1, 2014 by admin

How Can I Be a Better Husband and Father?

Reader Question: I work hard to be a good husband and father but feel that I fall short. I choose to be my wife and son’s hero but make mistakes and errors at the worst time. Please help. Thanks. –Rik

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com.
Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

 

Response: This is a lovely question. At first I was going to tell you I can’t help you stop making mistakes, but I actually can if you carefully consider the words below. And, just as importantly, I can help you cultivate an attitude of self-love and forgiveness that will make you an even more real hero for your wife and kids.

First, how to make fewer mistakes:
In my view, attaining a state of perfection isn’t about always doing the right thing, it’s about being perfectly in the moment, present, and aware. Our errors come when we’re disconnected; when we’re connected, the right action always flows. To focus on right action before right self-connection is putting the cart before the horse.

Someone said to me recently, “The only sin is knowing better and doing it anyway.”…. See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/a/how-to-be-a-better-husband-and-father.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A

September 25, 2014 by admin

How Can I Get Along Better with My Boss?

Reader Question: My manager is a lazy jerk. He thinks we are just there to serve him, and he is often curt with me. I admit I often give him the shortest possible answer to his question, just to toy with him. He tells me he feels sensitive around me, too. I go into work every day promising myself that I’m going to be present and non-reactive, but I get frustrated. My job is perfect for me except for the relationship with the manager, which is driving me nuts. Is this a sign I should move on? – Chelsea

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com.
Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

 

Response: Dear Chelsea, First of all, I applaud your honesty. It indicates a high degree of integrity that you’re willing to look at your contribution to this uncomfortable relationship, and self-awareness of your motivations is the first step towards changing how you relate to others.
Before we move into what I see as the real question, I’d like to address your inquiry, “Is this a sign I should move on?” I judiciously avoid making predictions for people, because it doesn’t feel responsible to me. Only you can sense deeply into the direction of your inner compass, and follow its course. That said, it’s not “a sign” if you’re running from an uncomfortable lesson, an evolutionary tension point that if embraced wholeheartedly, could lead to a much deeper experience of self-awareness and true connection with life.

If you would be so kind as to allow me a small word of caution, which I think may be helpful to you and many readers: Often those on the “spiritual” path start using signs, intuition, guidance, etc. to avoid dealing with the sometimes-gritty reckoning of their identity and their unconscious defense systems. While it may seem like the easy thing to do in the short term, it does not do them any favors in the long run. It creates further disconnect and does not support an integrated spiritual life. I could go on, but suffice it to say: Be Careful! Learn to distinguish (the sometimes confusing and distracting) inner voices of fear and defensiveness, from the deeper gut voice of your pure intuition. Hint: Guidance arises from fullness, not reaction. If you need help sorting through your voices, bounce your ideas off someone you trust not to collude with you, someone who’ll tell you the truth.

Now, how to deal with the situation with your manager: It sounds like you’d really like to experience more ease and harmony in your workday. Yes! Sounds great, and sounds totally possible, if you’re willing to be even more honest, self-connected, and self-responsible.

  1. Give yourself empathy. Before you gloss over your discomfort and judge yourself for not being more saintly, take a bit of time to acknowledge how you feel. Angry, irritated, frustrated, disgusted (with him and also yourself)? Despondent, Hopeless?…. See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com:http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/a/dealing-with-difficult-boss.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A

September 24, 2014 by admin

Do You Think I’m Ready to Follow My Heart?

Reader Question: Dear Anandra, I want to quit my job and focus on making music for a living. I am very talented, but have been becoming too caught up in a job that steals my soul. I have saved up a bit of money to get me through a few months, but still need something to give me the final push to actually do it this time (have been thinking about it for a long time). What do you think? –Karly

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com.
Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

 

Response:Dear Karly,There is nothing more wonderful than putting your energy into what makes your heart SING! When your deepest inner voice is urging you to follow a certain path, you honor the life inside of you by aligning your will and your actions with your higher purpose. Call it “God’s will,” “divine destiny,” “dharma,” or what you will… but the overpowering sense of oneness with all that is, which results from listening to and acting on your soul calling, is unmistakable.

When you’re standing at the proverbial fork in the road (sorry to use such a cliché!), and your feelings clearly indicate expansiveness, joy, love, and fulfillment when you imagine yourself going down one path, and dullness, dread, contraction, and heaviness at the other, do you really need me to tell you what I think? (Smile. Wink.) If you just need a nudge to have the confidence to follow your heart, here it is!

If you’ve done your homework, have a nest egg, connections in the business, a reasonable knowledge of how to make a musical career happen, and realistic expectation of what a musician’s life typically entails, even better. For you and anyone else taking a leap to follow their dreams, be kind to yourself and be sure to balance this great expansive move with a sense of stability.…. See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/a/follow-your-heart.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A

September 18, 2014 by admin

Nervous? Anxious? Fearful?

Reader Question: I feel so far from myself it’s not even funny. I was a life coach and healer myself, and I know what it feels like to be connected, but right now I am so out of whack it’s crazy. I am nervous, anxious, fearful, shaking, can’t sleep, feel terrible about myself, and have started smoking cigarettes again. I’m barely eating, my digestion is a mess, and most days I don’t even want to leave the house. Help!

About.com finalist awardAnandra is the resident life coach on about.com.
Browse Q&A from readers, or ask Anandra your question.

 

Response: Hello my dear. It sounds like textbookvata (or vatha) imbalance, according to Ayurveda. It’s quite uncomfortable, and I’m sure you’d love to get back to feeling peace, ease, and harmony!!

In addition to getting personal support for the underpinnings of the emotional, mental, and spiritual causes of your upset, managing your physical energies can bring you a lot of relief. When your physical energy is calm, stable, and grounded, it’ll be possible for you to move forward with the life changes that would best reflect your soul.

When your air/ether element is disturbed called a vata imbalance in Ayurveda. It feels like you’re swirling around and around with nowhere safe to call home. The mind can go to some very dark places, and you’re easily influenced by the energy of others, media, and food.

You may still need/want to get personal help, but here are a few tried-and-true, simple home remedies for getting your energy back into balance.

  • A self-oil massage with warm sesame oil every morning before your shower/bath is a excellent. Apply to every part of your body, including your head and with a cotton swab to your ears and nostrils. Let it soak in for about 15 minutes before you rinse lightly with warm water.…. See the full answer on Anandra’s “Ask a Life Coach” column on about.com: http://healing.about.com/od/askalifecoach/a/treating-vata-imbalance.htm

Anandra_aFeinbergReady to engage coaching and master YOUR next transformation…whether it’s relationship – career – spiritual or all of the above?
Schedule your free 15-minute session now.

Filed Under: Free Life Coach Advice Q&A

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